Family

The family had gathered again. Like always, you felt alone and out of place around them. You didn't want to be here but Nene was getting married.

Nene, your all-time favorite cousin. The only one that understood you perfectly. The only one that didn't look at you with pity because you were adopted. The one you eventually fell in love with.

"She's like a sister to you." Ma had said countless times after she had caught you pants down with Nene's picture in your room. You were 14 then.

You walk through the crowd, greeting the guests but your eyes never really stray from Nene. She looks effortlessly beautiful as always. In your eyes, her husband looked like a piece of junk next to her. They were having their first dance as man and wife. You felt anger laced with jealousy overwhelm you as her husband held her tight.

You let your thoughts go back to the summer of 2009. The summer you told her how you felt about her. You were 19 and she was 16. You remember the shock on her face that was quickly replaced with laughter and she hit your shoulder jokingly.

“You don dey mad.” She said, choking on her loud laughter that resounds now in your head. You try to shake it off but you can't because she was really laughing now, in another man's arms.

Your siblings and cousins are all laughing and updating each other on life since the last family gathering but you don't contribute much because you can't think straight. Nene is running through your mind.

You leave the crowd and start to head for the house but Nene and her husband stop you. She hugs you closely. Her soft bosom resting on your chest. Her fluffy natural hair caresses your face. You are not sure whether to hug her back or not. Instead, you plaster a wide smile on your face. She finally breaks the hug, you shake her husband and mutter a stiff congratulations. He gives you a manly pat on the back in return.

“Father Ekene,” he says, “thanks for gracing us with your presence.”

You smile and decline Nene's invitation to dance and continue to make your way to the house. You don't even stop to greet Ma's Asoebi. You see them every time there is a gathering. They keep asking, amidst high- pitched laughter, why you chose to become a Reverend when you could have easily married any of their daughters. They meant no harm but you made a mental note to avoid them at gatherings.

As you head to the house, you try to hide the bulge in your trousers. The type you had every time Nene crossed your mind. You feel sordid.

As you kneel to pray in your room, Ma's voice resounds in your head.

“She’s like a sister to you, Ekene. You cannot have such sinful thoughts about her.”

You pray the Lord to forgive your soul, for you were about to sin yet again.